Holey Hiker - Backpacking Bidet COMING SOON

Ok, now repeat after me:

"I (state your name), from this day forward, take this bidet to be my faithfully trusted piece of gear, to own and to hold, through thick and thin poops, to be used daily in the woods away from a trail, and at least 150' away from water, until death or chronic constipation do us apart."

The picture of the Holey Hiker Bidet might show you what it looks like, but it does not come close to bringing you the same emotional joy that you will feel after using it the first time. Order one now. It will arrive at your home in a week or two. Take it out of the box. Pop it into your favorite water bottle. Drop your pants. Squirt.

You know what you are feeling?

Freedom.

Freedom from toilet paper. Freedom from chaffing and monkey butt. Freedom from that smell that starts coming up after about three days on the trail. Freedom from the guilt you have been feeling for years. You know that smearing poop against your skin with toilet paper until it disappeared just did not seem to make any sense. You are now living guilt free. You are living clean.

Features:

• Featherlight at just 4g - we are talking holding a baby bird weight
• Intense 4 hole spray pattern - get squeaky clean in record time. More hiking, less wiping!
• Can't-miss-it arrow - now more prominent than ever. Color it with a Sharpie, or go full glam with some sparkly nail polish.
• Created with injection molding - because your backside deserves a bidet that will last